Relationship and Gender Roles .

 "I want a relationship where we both cook , we both clean , we both pay bills , no gender roles because we are a team "

I've long tried to understand this but I've failed in my pursuit. Pardon me , I understand but do not "completely" agree .

"A team is a convergence of 2 or more persons playing different roles with the sole purpose of achieving a common goal" - Kovu 

I can understand when we watch telemundo and zee world and fantasize , it's beautiful isn't it ? But then , you mean as a man , you'd sit pretty and watch your woman change a flat tire while you cross your legs with painted toe nails ? Get serious please ! 

A football team is basically made up of , Attackers , Midfielders , Defenders and a Goal keeper .

Please read this carefully.

The duty of an attacker is to score goals.

The duty of a midfielder is to get the ball to a striker to score goals.

The duty of a defender is to stop the opposition from scoring goals .

The duty of the goal keeper is to stop the opposition from scoring goals in the event the defender fails at it.

Now , this is a properly structured team , every player has his duty but they share a COMMON GOAL , To WIN the match.

In the course of this , a striker can become a defender , a midfielder can become a striker , a defender can score goals , this is all in a bid to help the team achieve it's goal which is to WIN .

This doesn't erase the duty specification of every teammate , in fact , every player has a position that they are ordinarily supposed to maintain while on the football pitch but they can overlap their positions "when need be".

What am I saying ? I'm saying , personally I'd rather remain old school on this . I don't want to be woke .

I'm a man and it's my duty to provide , protect and build my family , my wife and children are at my mercy. 

In the event my wife would want to be generous to help out then I'd appreciate this.

The biggest flex for a man is spending on a woman he Loves. It massages our egos in a heavenly way.

It then would be my wife's duty to cater for other welfarism . "This doesn't stop either of us from doing anything beyond our role description to help the family win"

As a man , I already Love to cook , I know I'd spend most of my time in the kitchen , cooking is one of my top hobbies , but my wife would not be allowed to see this as her right , hence I'm providing for my family.

I think it is highly irresponsible parents who see catering for their family as slavery , if you marry an inconsiderate goat that's on you but being responsible for a family is beautiful , tasking but beautiful.

You see , Men and Women are not the same , we are wired differently , Women are more patient , this is why they do better with the children , they show Love differently , your Father would sacrifice and Love you but might never mention it to you , but before you're 30 your mother would have mentioned it 2000 times .

Mentally , biologically and other wise , man and woman are not the same and this automatically shares gender roles , I would be a buffon of a man if I have to watch my woman lift a heavy bag of rice because "we are a team and anybody can do anything". My masculinity automatically slides that duty to me .

Mothers are Loved by their children more , not because they do not Love their father but because their mothers are more involved in their Lives , by the nature of them being women they are more patient . ( With the exception of a very tiny ratio )

Fathers are respected and revered more not because women do not deserve this but by the virtue of masculinity , a Father emits discipline. ( With the exception of a tiny ratio )

That being said , it is beautiful to have an equal teammate ( whatever that means ) but personally , I'm old school on this , It'd be my 💯 duty to care and cater for my family's finances , to protect my family and instill the needed discipline in my children , if my wife then decides to support once in a while I'd appreciate it as I'd support her too.

This is not a template as when it gets to issues like this , I advice people to do what works for them but for me , I would take pride in doing these for my family and allowing my Queen reap off my masculinity , while I'm pampered and treated like a King by her softness.  if I am a man then I would be a man and not a Cinderella.

Nwoke bu Ife biko.

I am Kovu.