MY CHOCOLATE CAKE.

I've never been a cake lover.

I don't like cakes, I think they are boring.

Yes, cake lovers would disagree, but cakes are too hyped.

But, you see, I discovered this cake, this chocolate cake, and I think I'm beginning to Love cakes. Well, not all cakes, but this rare chocolate cake.

It's no ordinary cake, so judge me fairly. Cakes are boring still, but this? I think it's female.

She (the cake, that is) calms my demons effortlessly. God must have been the baker, he alone can punch dough so flawlessly.

The melanin, the brownness of her fur, the softness, so real, and delicious to be true. Her scent, as pleasing as an infant child, 

Well, I've been won over by this cake, there's just something cranky, but delightful about this cake, it tastes like a woman, I can almost bet it is, but it has to be a special kind of woman.

She is like a bowl of parfait, housing a complex mix of raspberry, pineapple, Greek yoghurt, honey, cedar juice, and vanilla, with granola toppings.

If she were human, she'd be dark-skinned, and she'd have perky bosoms and sit-upon. she'd be so humorous and ambitious. she'd be easily likeable and a music lover.

If she were human, I'd fight the champions of the world and the underworld to keep her, I'd prove myself worthy in the battleground, slit after slit their throats would bleed, for to be with her would be my mission on earth.

I've never liked cakes, but I think I've found my fondness; dark, sexy and more precious than diamonds.

If only she was a woman.

I am Kovu.